Hello Beautiful People and welcome to my little corner of the world. God has placed a desire in my heart to share my story and testimony, so I am being obedient to His calling and stepping out in faith knowing that He will take care of the rest. I am praying that this blog will help bring others to a place of peace in their lives.
Let me start out by introducing my self, my name is Nikki and I am married to the most incredible man on the planet. Together we have been trusted with the lives of 6 amazing children to teach, grow, mold and lead in the ways of the Lord. As more posts are shared I will give more details about our family dynamic that will answer some questions that you all may have. I chose to name this blog: Nikki Gossett Just Mom, because I struggled with being identified as a mom since I do not have any children biologically. I do all the same things a mother does, I love them, care for them, cook for them, take care of their basic needs, correct them, support them, guide them, advise them, encourage them, pray for them etc. So why didn’t I feel like I was deserving of the title “Mom”?
That is somewhat of a loaded question because when I became a mother figure it was in December of 2012 when I married Adam. He brought into our marriage 4 beautiful children from his previous marriage and I became a “step” mom. In our family, we don’t particularly care for the term “step-mom” or “stepchildren”, so we refer to each other as a bonus mom and bonus babies. I loved these kids with everything I had, but the reality was, I would never take the place of their mom, nor did I have any desire to. So I was in the role of a mother figure but never considered myself their mom. Mother’s Day was always so confusing to me, and a day that always brought a ton of emotion and tears for me. You see I have dealt with infertility my entire adult life and not being able to conceive a child was devastating. It was extremely hard to love these kids as my own, but knowing in my heart that they were not “mine” and that I would always take a back seat to the woman that gave birth to them (as I should).
There were many nights of tears and hurt feelings and just anger and frustration that I had dealt with for 15 years already. Adam, bless his heart, did all he could do to make me feel better, but feeling completely helpless had no idea what to do for me. We talked to an adoption agency, we discussed other options and even met with a young couple looking for someone to potentially adopt their unborn son. After we found out that the couple had decided against adoption we were back to square one and no closer to the answer we had been praying for. It was at this time that I begged God to not send anyone else to us with a potential adoption offer if it was not from Him and of Him.
It was November 2015 when we started to really seek God and His will for our lives. We began to get involved in church and surrounded ourselves with people who challenged us to grow as they prayed for us and with us. On Easter Sunday of 2016, I had a sister in Christ come to me about an unborn baby and asked if we would be interested in opening our home and heart to this child if the opportunity arose. My immediate response was “of course”, but I later had to remind myself to not get excited until I had some time alone with God to pray and remind Him of my previous request to keep all adoption possibilities at bay if they weren’t from Him.
On May 21, 2016, I rededicated my life and got rebaptized because I wanted to live my life for God and for Him only. Since that day, my world has been a whirlwind. Just 6 days after my baptism we brought the most precious baby girl into our home. It was this moment that led us to become foster parents. On this day I added another prefix to my “mom” role and became a “foster mom”. If you want to talk about an emotional roller coaster, that is a testimony you will want to catch. Fast forward to the following year 2017 on Easter weekend again, we receive a call about an unborn baby whose mom is seeking an adoptive family. We welcomed our son into the world in June of 2017 and his adoption became final in November of that same year. This is where I added another prefix to my mom role and became an “adoptive mom”.
After 18 years of desiring to become a mom, I now hold that title in a variety of ways. However, I have decided to not dwell on the prefix of “bonus, foster, or adoptive” because the reality is I am a mother, regardless of the prefix. That is what led me to the title of this blog, while I may be a bonus mom, a foster mom, and an adoptive mom … I’m still just a mom. So welcome to Nikki Gossett Just Mom, I hope my story and testimony can help you find some peace and comfort in knowing that you are not alone. If you are a step “bonus” mom I hope you can find common ground and a mutual respect to co-parent your children. If you are a foster mom, I pray for your heart and understand every ounce of emotion that you face each day. If you are an adoptive mom, I know your heart is full and the joys of motherhood are not taken for granted as you nurture the little soul that God chose for you. For those of you who are still waiting for your arms to be filled and continue to fight the battle of infertility, I especially pray for you. I completely understand your struggle and heartache. May God bless you all richly as you grow closer to Him during your times of frustration and just not understanding. One of my favorite scriptures that I stand on consistently is Isaiah 55:8-9:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.